


The Definition of Love

by Mysticmcknight



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: M/M, Pre-Slash, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-28
Updated: 2005-06-28
Packaged: 2017-12-09 02:04:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/768704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysticmcknight/pseuds/Mysticmcknight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel shares a poem with Jack</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Definition of Love

Daniel didn't know what possessed him to give Jack the poem he had come across, but once he read it, it spoke to him and so for whatever reason, he gave it to Jack. He knew that deep down he hoped Jack would understand what he was saying other than sharing a piece of literature; that he loved Jack and was aware of the boundaries between them. He only hoped that Jack might love him too and together they could cross them together…some how. 

After their latest brush with death, SG-1 had been given a few days off and Daniel, having seen Jack one too many times injured 'in the line of duty'…protecting him, his resistance to act broke down. However when it came to the final moment, all he could say was, "Something to read," before leaving Jack safe and sound at his home, where Janet had sanctioned Jack could go and rest. That had been a week ago and still there was no word, no indication that Jack had read the poem much less have any thoughts on it. Unsure what else to do, still not braving the matter to bring it up in direct conversation, Daniel just let it slide, and like tonight, he was heading home alone and the hour was late. Thankfully he didn't have to be to work until noon, as he had a meeting with SG-11, which he was already prepared for, and could get some rest. 

After unlocking his door, he noticed the large vanilla envelops lying on his carpet, having been shoved 'under' and picked it up. He secured his door and walked to the kitchen to get something to drink, resisting the urge to get 'more' coffee. There was nothing written on the envelope, so he opened it as he gazed a partial eye in his refrigerator and not seeing anything to catch his eye closed it as he pulled the papers within, out. Daniel looked at the first page and blinked, it was an essay for an English lit class, written by Jack some twenty years ago, on the very same poem he had given him. 

Slowly, Daniel moved to a kitchen chair and sat down and began to read what Jack had written: 

The Definition of Love, a poem by Andrew Marvell is in my opinion a dedication of his love to Mary Fairfax. She was the daughter of Sir Thomas Fairfax, a Parliamentary general whom Marvell had worked for as a tutor for Mary, between 1650-1652. (Literary, Pg. 1)

This poem reads to me of two people in love but because of circumstances they cannot be together, for to do so would be the ruin of the woman’s reputation. I gather that the woman Andrew is in love with is a lady of position, and he being not so noble of status would be considered unsuitable a station to mix with hers. That to even attempt to do so would destroy her status, and that of the family she belongs to.

A break down of the poem reveals much:

My love is of a birth as rare  
As ‘tis for object, strange and high;  
It was begotten by Despair  
Upon Impossibility

To me this reads of a discovery of love that is unique, and not equaled to anything Marvell has ever experienced, but it is for someone of upper status, that is out of his reach of regular understanding. This understanding of his love brings him deep sadness for he sees the union not occurring.

Magnanimous Despair alone  
Could show me so divine a thing,  
Where feeble Hope could ne’er have flown  
But vainly flapped its tinsel wing

Marvell feels that this heartache is only so great for the love he feels is just as great, and that only through such pain could expose to him the true value of what he has discovered. That the possibility of their love existing is next to none, its existence nonetheless gives the spark of hope where there should be none.

And yet I quickly might arrive  
Where my extended soul is fixed/  
But Fates does iron wedges drive,  
And always crowds itself betwixt.

Since there is hope, that the love is real, Andrew knows how quickly he could allow himself to fall for his love, Mary. However, he knows that again the circumstances of their statuses are determined to keep them apart.

For Fate with jealous eye does see  
Two perfect loves, nor lets them close;  
Their union would her ruin be,  
And her tyrannic power depose. 

Andrew also seems to feel that these circumstances or Fate as he called it, had reason for being so unbendable to the potential lovers, that being that they had the possibility of being too perfect, so didn’t waive so their future could be. The way things stood, if they decided to go against the grain of things, Mary would have her reputation stained by ‘slumming’ below her class, and that the power of her family would be lesion in the eyes of society, a situation she could not allow to occur.

And therefore her decrees of steel  
Us as the distant poles have placed  
(Though Love’s whole world on us doeth wheel),  
Not by themselves to be embraced,

A decision reached by Mary, made it clear that the two potential lovers would not ever be. That they would have to redefine their roles, and keep themselves stern in who they were, for if they forgot themselves, they would for sure become lovers, so a distance must be consciously kept.

Unless the giddy heaven fall,  
And earth some new convulsion tear,  
And, us to join, the world should all  
Be cramped into a planisphere.

For unless a miracle occurs that would change the way the world was ran at that time, the two would never be together. For the possibility of any hope at all became less feasible of occurring than shrinking the entire world into a small hole.

As lines, so loves oblique may well  
Themselves in every angle greet,  
But ours, so truly parallel,  
Though infinite, can never meet.

Marvell compares the love he feels with Mary more different than most loves, which have so many opportunities to exist and bloom, where theirs had little to none. Though their love still came to be, their lives could not cross into each other, but that would not lessen its potency, and it would continue to exist forever.

Therefore the love which us doth bind,  
But Fate so enviously debars,  
Is the conjunction of the mind,  
And opposition of the stars.

Andrew concludes that their love shall always be a bond between him and Mary, and though their status and circumstances would push to keep them for ever apart, they would know they love one another. Like star cross lovers drawn to each other as Romeo was to Juliet, their hearts would sing for the other, but unlike the lovers of tragic fate, they would live another day in remembrance of what could have been, as they find out what will be - separately and alone.

************  
Literary Manuscripts at the University of Hull; Archives and Special Collection: Pg. 1 

Daniel nodded to himself, then looked at the front page again, seeing the A grade given, half feeling the teacher was in a generous mood or didn't require much, and wondered why Jack had given him this. He laid the essay down, gently flipping it over and that's when he saw the hand written note: 

Are roles are as defined as Andrews and Mary's, and the boundaries just as thick and damaging. Until the word changes, it is our path to move forward, separate and alone. 

Daniel felt the sting in his eyes as he read the simple words, understanding why Jack had given him this paper; it was an explanation as to 'why' they couldn't be together, but that in his own way he 'did' love him…Jack loved him! 

With care, born of bittersweet tears and half made smiles, Daniel placed back the essay into the envelope and exited his kitchen, turning off the light as he went. He moved to his small den, where he kept his most precious journals, like a diary, given lock and key, he plucked from the shelf his most recent and added the envelope to today's page and marked the entry. He didn't feel like adding more, believing that what was already there said it all, and then closed the strap and replaced it back on the shelf and left and headed out to his balcony where he watched the stars with a distant gaze. 

Daniel didn't know how long he was there, but when his awareness returned, the sun was breaking the horizon and the sky filling with beautiful oranges, reds, and blues. He looked at his watch, it was 6am and went inside, the chill of the night starting to fill his bones, but he didn't care. He picked up the phone and dialed the number he knew by heart and waited. 

"O'Neill," came the deep vibrant voice that stirred his soul. 

"I read it," Daniel replied evenly and waited. 

"Then…you understand?" 

"Yes…and no," stated earnestly.

"Danny…" 

"Jack, listen to me. We…we both have been through so much, overcome impossible odds, how can something this simple be stopped?" It seemed like a fair question to ask, for they had saved the Earth, destroyed evil System Lords, what was some petty views of a few to stand in their way? 

"It's not that simple," Jack started to reply. 

"Yes, it is," Daniel immediately countered. 

"Please, Daniel," Jack softly implored, not wanting to drag this out, but somehow knowing it was going to be. 

"Do you love me, Jack," Daniel asked firmly. 

"Danny…" 

"It's a simple yes or no, Jack. Do…You…Love…Me?" 

"Oh for crying out loud," Jack's breathy curse echoed over the airways. "Yes, damn it. Now, can we drop this…" 

"Yes, Jack we can…for now," Daniel smiled, feeling braver by the moment. "I'll see you later," and he hung up the phone, he had his answer and he knew what he needed to do. 

**********

Jack was on edge all day, the phone call from Daniel being at the tip of his concerns, as he headed into work and got snagged by General Hammond for a meeting with the Brass…he hated days like these. It always ended up with him doing more paperwork than normal, for someone wanted a report on something or other. He entered his office and closed the door indicating he wanted to be left alone; hopefully they would listen, and plopped down behind his desk where he spotted the vanilla envelope with no markings. 

He opened it up and pulled out the single paper and smiled: 

The Definition of Love According to Daniel Jackson

Love conquers all!

THE END

The Definition of Love

My love is of a birth as rare  
As ‘tis for object, strange and high;  
It was begotten by Despair  
Upon Impossibility

Magnanimous Despair alone  
Could show me so divine a thing,  
Where feeble Hope could ne’er have flown  
But vainly flapped its tinsel wing

And yet I quickly might arrive  
Where my extended soul is fixed/  
But Fates does iron wedges drive,  
And always crowds itself betwixt.

For Fate with jealous eye does see  
Two perfect loves, nor lets them close;  
Their union would her ruin be,  
And her tyrannic power depose.

And therefore her decrees of steel  
Us as the distant poles have placed  
(Though Love’s whole world on us doeth wheel),  
Not by themselves to be embraced,

Unless the giddy heaven fall,  
And earth some new convulsion tear,  
And, us to join, the world should all  
Be cramped into a planisphere.

As lines, so loves oblique may well  
Themselves in every angle greet,  
But ours, so truly parallel,  
Though infinite, can never meet.

Therefore the love which us doth bind,  
But Fate so enviously debars,  
Is the conjunction of the mind,  
And opposition of the stars.

by Andrew Marvell


End file.
